Are you trying hard to improve yourself but you feel like you’re stuck ? Do you feel like you’re wasting your efforts but getting nothing in return ?
Basically you feel like this self-help thing is not working.
Well, if you’re feeling this way, have you ever thought that you might be doing something wrong ?
I see a lot of people wanting to develop themselves but not getting what they want because they’re making some terrible mistakes without even knowing it.
What I want to say is that the reason you’re not making any progress is probably because you’re making one (or more) of these mistakes.
You want to know what these mistakes are ? Read on.
1. You don’t really know what self-improvement is
A lot of people in the self-help community seem to think that self-improvement means reading books and sharing quotes on social media.
Just to be really clear, here’s what self-improvement means :
" the improvement of one’s knowledge, status, or character by one’s own efforts. "
Self-improvement doesn’t just mean knowing a lot of stuff to feel like you’re smart. It means learning to develop your character and your mindset to get better results in life.
The ultimate goal is to get results, not just theoretical knowledge that you never use.
2. You don’t really know what you want
I see a lot of questions on Quora asking something like “How can I be a better person ?” “How can I improve myself ?” or “How to improve my life ?”
Do you really think there’s a right answer to such questions ? The questions are too broad and not specific enough.
Wanting to improve is a good thing, but being too broad about it won’t get you anywhere. You have to know exactly what you want in order to get it.
3. You want to improve everything at once
Similar to #2, some people just want to do everything at the same time. They ask questions like “How do I become more confident, build my self-esteem and find my purpose in life ?”
Do you see how rich the question is ? It’s too cluttered.
You can’t improve everything at the same time. You have to improve on aspect of yourself at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed.
4. You’re all about the theory
You like consuming as much content as possible. You like reading books, watching youtube videos and all that because it gives you a false sense of satisfaction.
Basically you learn a lot, research a lot, but you don’t apply anything.
5. You’re too impatient
You want to become a better person and you want it now. Instead of going through the process of change, you want to improve yourself overnight which is nearly impossible.
The truth is that changing yourself takes time and effort. You can’t become a whole different person overnight.
6. You don’t commit to one specific outcome
totally forget about it afterwards and then you say that it doesn’t work.
Well, it doesn’t work like that. To get a result, you have to be consistent.You can’t expect anything if you try something for a few days then you forget about it.
I see a lot of people saying that “self-help doesn’t work” when all they do is read a book without even trying what it says and then you find them saying “the book sucks”.
If you want to get fit, you don’t go to the gym for a few days then you say that gym doesn’t work. That would be crazy !
Same thing here. Self-improvement requires constant effort. That’s the only way of making a positive change within yourself.
7. You always look for shortcuts
You’re constantly looking for the next “tip” or “hack” to success, confidence or happiness. That’s one of the biggest mistakes you could make. If you’re always looking for the “easy way” to improve, you never will.
There’s an old saying that goes like this : “Not everything that shines is gold”. That’s exactly the case with these “tips” you often get. They might be shiny, but they’re not gold.
Those “hacks” are just shallow pieces of advice, they won’t get you anywhere. The reason why they’re so attractive by the way is because they seem so easy, and we often like to avoid putting the effort, so it seems like the perfect solution while in fact, it couldn’t be further away from it.
The bottom line is : stop looking for shortcuts.
8. You’re not following a specific plan
This means that you know what you want but you don’t know how to get there. If you want a certain outcome, it’s not enough to know what you want to improve, it’s also very important to know how you’re going to get there.
For example transitioning from someone who’s insecure to a person who’s super confident without having a clear-cut set of steps is extremely hard.
What I’m saying is you must have a plan to be effective.
These are the biggest mistakes that will stop you from improving yourself. Make sure to avoid them at all cost.